Thursday, June 30, 2005

Baseball Nirvana

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. I took him to Wrigley to see the Cubs play the Brewers. Thanks to some luck and money I got seats that were 3 rows behind home plate. Very very very awesome seats. Having Wood pitching a great game and the Cubs winning made it perfect.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Guitar Blood

I'm trying to learn the guitar. Today's lesson from the Internet was how to restring the guitar. What they don't tell you is that you should wear defensive layers to protect your fingers from the guitar when the strings attack. The ends of the strings have a tendancy to make a very good puncture wound in one's fingers.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Girls Guide to Geek Guys

A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys

By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat

So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.

Why Geek Dudes Rule

They are generally available.
Other women will tend not to steal them.
They can fix things.
Your parents will love them.
They're smart.

Where The Geek Dude Lurks

While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation. Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.


You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with
such narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next topic...

The Trek factor

If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your Deep Space Nine, your Babylon 5. Armed with your own knowledge of Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary.
This world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in the geeky - but - heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart, Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is. If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are ready for a geek relationship.

Once You've Nabbed Him

Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man: Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance.
Geek Cuisine

Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.

Geek Lifestyle

The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize. To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he
wants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man.

Geek Buddies

Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are.

Post-It Note

I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authority
problem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several reasons:

1.Howard had already thought about who she was most like.
2.He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease.
3.Victoria actually knew who he meant.
4.Folks, I think this marriage will last.

One Last Thing

Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't you
like a little intellectual stimulation or your own? We thought so.

Monty Python

You are a silly English Knnnnnniggit! Brave, loyal, and (somewhat) chaste, you follow your leader without question...even though you're not really that smart.
You are a silly English Knnnnnniggit! Brave, loyal,
and (somewhat) chaste, you follow your leader
without question...even though you're not
really that smart.

Which Monty Python & the Holy Grail Character are you REALLY?
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Which M*A*S*H Character Are You?

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Friday, June 24, 2005

Time To Play

Well my last class at networkers is now done. It's time to have a little fun before flying home to reality tomorrow. The good news is that I have a lot of fun projects awaiting me next week, the bad news is that I have very little time to do those fun projects.

Ode to the Nice Guys

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches, but this is not their fault, society makes them that way. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. I raise my glass high, and i tip my hat to you! You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.


Well Cisco tried to have a customer appreciation event at the Palms Hotel last night. Unfortunately although they can figure out how to compress packets, they didn't realize that you can't do that to humans. There were about 5,000 people on the pool deck of the hotel. It was wall to wall people which made it less fun than it could have been. I ended up back in my hotel about an hour after I got there.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

sh running-config

Ok, it's day 4 of Networkers and I'm starting to speak router it would seem. Lots of great information. Unfortunately the coolest stuff is always in a version of IOS that I don't have or can't put on my current hardware.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Death By Powerpoint

Although the information at my training today is very good as is the presenter, there is only so much power point a person can take. Life is just graphics and bullet points.

* Conception
* Born
* Raised
* Indoctrinated
* Work
* Procreate
* Die

Viva Las Vegas!

Well my coworker got me to go with him to the Stardust last night to play Texas Hold 'Em. I think he might regret it now. I'm up $27 he's down $30. Oops.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

When Geeks Invade!

I'm currently writing from Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps, Sin City, etc. I'm attending Cisco Networkers with about 4,000 other geeks. I'm guessing with all of the wireless laptops around that we're probably causing nightmares for anyone in the area with 2.4Ghz phones. My hotel room is amazing. I've got a king size bed and an awesome view of the mountains. Well I should probably get back to studying for my 642-501 Securing IOS exam that I'm taking at 5pm PST today. Hopefully this time I pass it. I took it Friday at home and missed passing by 16 points. Well back to the quest for more letters and hopefully more money... are you listening out there manager? ;-)

Monday, June 13, 2005

Not Guilty???

The jury may have found him Not Guilty, but I think someone needs to find the jury Guilty of being stupid. Once again a celebrity gets off for a heinous crime. This time it's even worse than OJ because it's a crime against children. Michael Jackson does not deserve to be free to molest again. One can only hope that other parents aren't dumb enough to let their kids near him.

Ex Significant Others

Why is it that exes seem to enjoy telling you when they've found the love of their life and are engaged? Is it not enough for them to have broken your heart that they then have to twist the dagger again later?

Friday, June 10, 2005

CYA is Born

Well my first attempt at a Catholic Young Adult group in Jacksonville has begun. We had 3 people together at the local pizza joint Leo's. Hopefully we've planted the small seed that will grow into a large tree.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

Cisco Geek Christmas

Ah it's like Christmas for a Cisco geek. Every day I get more boxes of Cisco goodness destined for our new Cat6509 core switch. Mmm big expensive toys err tools.

Monday, June 6, 2005

Should I Audition for American Idol???

Over the weekend I created an auto attendant for our new phone system in Ardmore, OK. As part of this I had to record the menu items. So you can now hear me going "Thank you for calling Dot Foods, For Transportation press 1 ...". The manager of that office e-mailed me this morning and told me I was now a recording star. Something tells me though that I shouldn't quit my day job just yet.

Saturday, June 4, 2005

Go Cubs Go

As usual my Cubbies are surprising me and turning around a ho hum season to keep me interested. Could this be THE YEAR? We'll see.


Such a wonderful thing TV shows on DVDs are. Right now I'm watching Quantum Leap Season 2. Ah nostolgia how sweet!

Icy Hot

Well they're right, I don't feel the pain in my back any more, but I have to wonder if that's because of the sensory overload the Icy Hot produces or if it really stops the pain. Mental note, a little dab will do just fine.

Pain in the #!#@!

Well the doctor literally said to take two aleeve and call him in the morning. My sciatic nerve has decided that it wants attention. Perhaps Monday I'll give a chiropracter a chance. Never done that before, but I'm getting desparate.

Friday, June 3, 2005

The Joys of Salary

Let's see, when you ask for downtime on a system you'd expect after hours, but after hours only on Friday night? You've got to be kidding.

Thursday, June 2, 2005

Online Dating

I've been doing the online dating thing off and on since my ex-fiance decided that I wasn't "the one". I've done Match, Yahoo, Lavalife and E-harmony. Of course being a guy I ended up paying for all of them at one point or another for the privilege of e-mailing the women on the sites. Over the years I've come up with some pet peeves that I wish women would think about, especially since they're so picky with how we behave.

1) Guys have to pay to talk with you, at least reply and say sorry I'm not interested.
2) If you want to see our picture or ask a certain question, be willing to respond in kind.
3) If you're communicating with someone and decide you're not interested, tell the person, don't just disappear.
4) If you go on a date with the person, don't say I'd like to see you again if you don't mean it.